Bad Commentary.: Ugly Face Man

Because everyone has an Ugly Face Man. It's true. Ever not like someone just because you didn't like their face? Chances are you've never even met them or you have, in passing, but there's just something about that face that you just can't like no matter what you do. Your Ugly Face Man could actually be attractive or even the nicest person in the world:

UGLY FACE MAN: Hello, Sir. Here's 5 dollars for no reason. Just take it. In fact, here, take 20! Actually, you know what? Take my wallet along with my credit cards. I could deal without them. My, that's a nice outfit! I bet you're a ladies' man. You make me feel bad about myself, you're so attractive. How's that wallet working for ya? Not satisfied? Here, let me cook you dinner. Need a house? Here's my deed. On second thought, here have sex with my wife. Make my kids your indentured servants- it'll toughen them up. Oh, how rude of me, almost forgot, my grandmother just died, perhaps I'll transfer my ridiculously large inheritance to you. Need a car? I love you.

And after all that, you still don't like his face. You still don't like HIM. You wish you could, but there's nothing you can do about it. It's just that face. It's like nature made his face represent everything you dislike for survival reasons.

This person just saved you from getting hit by a bus. This person just awarded you the Nobel Peace Prize. This person just assassinated every pop star that ever deserved it. But sorry. That face.

(Is this YOUR Ugly Face Man?)

What's funny about it is that not only does everyone have an Ugly Face Man (which is not gender specific, by the way), but YOU are also someone's Ugly Face Man. That's right! There's at least one person out there that wants to punch you in the face for absolutely no reason.

I should know, I'm several people's Ugly Face Man and I'm okay with that. I've made my peace with it. I say, EMBRACE the the Ugly Face Man within and, with a tractor, run over the Ugly Face Man without, if you're so inclined. Pretty much just putting it out there.