Just Minding Your Biznaz...

Because women and old people make me nervous when I just happen to walk behind them. See, the thing is, I'm a person of color and I wear hoods when it's cold. Pretty normal, right? Except it makes me look like the Grim Reaper or, even worse, DMX. And so, I guess maybe hispanic + hoodie = rapist?

(Imagine: it's 9pm and you're making your way to 7/11, when an old broad exits her home, walking in the same direction just about 15 feet ahead of you. You could see her glancing at you through the corner of her eye and for some reason you are conveniently the only ones on this street. So you start to feel strange as if you were up to something, even though you're just on a quest for some delicious Hoho's.

Meanwhile, you're gaining on her because your legs are longer and she's clutching her purse as O.J. Simpson seems to be getting closer and is basically breathing down her neck. You're feeling like you're actually committing a crime because you can literally see the fear emanating from her old lady wig but all you really want to do is walk by her. So you walk faster and she shrinks into herself even more, literally fusing her purse to her stomach. You finally walk by. She sighs. You sigh.)

You see, the thing is that when this happens, you're the one that's scared. When you're walking by someone who's afraid of you, anything could happen. A scared grandpa or co-ed will not hesitate to stab you in the eye with the nearest key or Magnalite out of fear of being mugged when all you want to ravage is a Hoho.


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