Rare Conditions and the Celebrities They Affect: Part 1

Name of condition: Disfalafeloofahlexia
Description: The inability to distinguish a loofah from a falafel while making a sexually harassing phone call.

Celebrity: Bill O'Reilly

Name of condition: Pseudoreleventia
Description: The mistaken belief that what you say or think has any relevance whatsoever to anyone.

Celebrities: Joan Rivers, Ryan Seacrest

 

Name of condition: Pubofrenia
Description: A delusional state where the sufferer believes his or her actions should be guided by a specific patch of body hair.

Celebrity: Adolf Hitler (NOTE: Also common amongst porn stars and pedophiles.)

Name of condition: Communist Compulsive Disorder or CCD
Description: An uncontrollable, overriding urge to see and point out Communist conspiracies in everything observed.

Celebrity: Glenn Beck

Name of condition: Unconstricted Anus Syndrome
Description: Becoming Gay after bashing homosexuals.

Celebrities: Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard, Glenn Murphy Jr., Bob Allen (NOTE: Possibly caused by a virus that flourishes within GOP conventions/gatherings.)

Name of condition: Immortality
Description: Self explanatory.

Celebrity: Todd Bridges (R.I.P. Gary Coleman and Dana Plato) (NOTE: Find out if Mr. Drummond is still alive and what his real name is/was.)

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